I am the wilderness.
I’ve felt insecure at many points in my life — though I only recognised it as insecurity a few years ago.
Since then, I’ve found it both fascinating and frightening how quickly those insecurities can wake up.
One comment, one pause, one small misunderstanding —
and suddenly a version of me steps forward,
wanting to protect, defend, prove, hide…
and sometimes, unfortunately, hurting others.
For a long time, I judged myself harshly for this.
I resented myself for not being who I thought I should be,
for letting this reactive part of me take over.
But over the years, I realised I’d been looking at myself from a single, unforgiving angle —
a judgmental, self-critical one.
And then life, as it does, handed me two profound, life-changing events.
They made me pause, fall apart, and slowly put myself back together.
In that process, I remembered a line from Brené Brown that hit me straight in the chest:
“Someone, somewhere will say, ‘Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness.’ This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself: I am the wilderness.”
That line helped me step into my own wilderness —
to accept my deep imperfections,
to notice my reactions with curiosity instead of shame,
to understand what they’re trying to protect,
to befriend my insecurities rather than punish them.
I’m learning to give insecurity a front-row seat in my life… and still go on living.
It has been a process — at times hard as hell.
It’s made me face the dark, raw parts of my life,
rethink my choices, reflect on what matters,
and finally, at 46, step into my own uniqueness.
Flawed, messy, imperfect, sometimes moody —
and also quirky, kind, compassionate, and passionate about what I do.
I am the wilderness.
The path doesn’t end here.
I’m sure life will keep offering new challenges and new opportunities for my insecurities to step forward.
But now I know.
I am the wilderness.
You are the wilderness.
Love.
R
